Writing Update: Escapism

So, tonight is my school’s homecoming dance. If you didn’t guess by the time stamp of this post, I’m not going. So I’m staying in tonight, writing and watching the IT movies (again). I’ll probably do some reading later. Maybe put on some Autoheart, or some Fleet Foxes. The night is full of possibilities.

I’ve been wondering why I’ve been doing so much more writing lately than usual. (Which still isn’t much. “More” is relative.) I think I’ve really just been using it as a kind of escapism… so emo shit ahoy.

I started thinking about this in my creative writing class. We were writing about how bad experiences are “trash” that, over time, breaks down into compost to grow the “flowers of writing” or something. But I realized that, for me, it’s kind of the opposite. Like, we’re working on short stories in that class right now. Mine’s about a boy who takes back his power from an abusive and manipulative relationship by regaining his ability to trust. I recently got out of a relationship like that, and I still haven’t found myself able to really trust other people. So, for whatever reason, I decided to write about someone who has. For me, the “compost” in this analogy is just being happy and at peace with my experiences. And writing is a process that, if it can’t turn my garbage into soil by itself, reminds me that things aren’t hopeless. That I’ll heal with time.

Same deal with the novel I’m working on. I’ve been dealing with loneliness/bullying/shit at home/etc. really often lately. So I’m writing about a found family who comes together on this fantasy mission and works together and bonds. If you can’t make your own friends, create some fake ones, right? 

You can kind of see a shift in my writing where I moved cities because of that. At the beginning the focus was more on the friendships, because I’ve always been a lonely bastard. But since we’ve moved, there’s a little extra dimension of my characters being displaced and finding people through their movement, since that’s something I apparently can’t do either. Huh, didn’t even think about that before. Nothing like these stream-of-consciousness posts to stumble upon some epiphany. Usually a pathetic one.

Hopefully the kids in my class don’t see this since it’s homecoming weekend. I’m guessing they’re all at the dance tonight, and a few will probably be too hungover tomorrow to look at blogs (Do people actually drink at school dance afterparties? I wouldn’t know.). It’s fine if they do read this, I’m posting it online after all. It’s just kinda weird to think about a classmate with a bunch of friends who goes to parties seeing me post about being a loser and not going to said parties.

I don’t really have a good place to end this. If you’ll excuse me, the IT kids are about to go into the Neibolt House and that requires my full attention. Peace.

10 thoughts on “Writing Update: Escapism

  1. I never went to any of those dances and it was the best decision of my life. It saved me time, money, and my sanity. I ended up going to prom my senior year, but left not even half an hour in. Dances and parties aren’t all that important anyway. I assume they aren’t too fun either, but I wouldn’t know because I was the kid who was never invited. Nothin’ wrong with spending a Saturday night at home watching IT!


  2. Writing is a form of escape for me, but I usually write really harrowing stuff and I’ve caught myself questioning if I do that in order to feel better about my life experiences. I think escapism for the author is just as important as it is for the reader. The world can be a hard place so if we have the ability to create alternative, or in your case better worlds for our characters, then why not?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Honestly, I do the same thing! I scrapped the piece I mentioned in this post and I’m currently working on another, but I’m doing the same thing. I wouldn’t say it’s an exact self-insert, but I’m definitely trying to see the good in things that I’ve gone through via my protag! But everything personal is usually more minor in my writing, I’m not a reclusive addict sculptor after all, haha! Gotta give your protags their own struggles so they can stand on their own two feet 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • Same to be honest, my protagonist in my WIP is a very unstable person with a boatload of emotional issues, much more severe than what I suffer with. I feel bad sometimes but I know she’s going to learn more about why she is the way she is, which will give her a push into the direction of recovery.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I love that a lot! My main struggle with writing stuff like that is worrying that people will think I’m basing those issues off of myself. I always want to put a disclaimer on my stuff like “PSA: I promise I don’t abuse opiates and lock myself in my room and sculpt for twelve hours!!” I think that’s just me overthinking though. Your WIP sounds awesome btw!!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I think that might be down to the popular saying of “write what you know” but that’s not always the case. My WIP is about my protagonist waking up and finding her sister missing, only to be told she never had a sister, she becomes an author and writes a book that seems connected to a string of double murders across the country, the victims being very wealthy parents to successful children. But of course I have no experience with any of this, so don’t worry too much. You’re imagination is made up of more than your life experiences alone. Thank you, so does yours!

    Liked by 1 person

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